ISFJ Seeks Meaningful Work

I have been unemployed for almost 5 months, and it's starting to get to me.

For a recovering workaholic who has been employed since she was 15 years old (even through college) it has been a rough adjustment. First, a little background:

I am a hard worker... like, to the point of insanity. I throw everything I am into my work, no matter what it is. If you asked me to clean a toilet, I would spend 30 minutes making sure it was spotless with the hope that someone would come along and be like, "Damn, that is one clean toilet." I try to be the best at everything I do - not to satisfy my ego, but so that I can go to sleep each night knowing that I did the best I could. I have always assumed this quality came from my dad. He has always worked really hard and been very diligent about saving money and being responsible. I have him to thank for my financial savvy - he taught me everything I know about managing finances (until I learned for myself later in life... mostly through the mistakes of others around me).

Until my junior year in college, I was double majoring in International Business and Accounting. But then I had a personal crisis: suddenly I looked around at my friends and all I saw were nurses, teachers, social workers, etc. I felt cold and heartless. I said to myself, "What am I doing to help people? Their taxes? Ugh..." so I dropped the accounting part and figured at least with international business I could do something useful. Not to say there is anything wrong with doing people's taxes, but it just never felt like the right thing for me. I have always felt like I should contribute something more to the world, to help make a real difference in an important way... either improving someone's life or saving the world from itself.

But, I digress. I started at my last job as an intern while still in college. I worked my ass off, as usual, so they decided to hire me when I graduated. 6 years and about 7 job titles later, I left that job to move to Oregon. It was a good job for a while, and most of the time I was there, they rewarded my hard work with money and promotions. But, being a workaholic is hard. You reach a point where you can't sustain that level of commitment anymore without sacrificing happiness, health, and your personal life. I blamed the company for that for a long time, and only now after 5 months of breathing room do I recognize that it was my fault too.

So now, being unemployed is hard. I am slightly OCD about a lot of things, and my work has always been my outlet for those tendencies. Without it, I have nowhere to channel that energy. But, I looked at it as a great opportunity. I was tired of the industry I was in, and the job I did was a thankless one. To be honest, I was planning to leave anyway even if we didn't move to Portland, so the timing was perfect. I figured it would give me time to take a break from working 50 hours a week or more, and figure out what I want to do. Unfortunately now isn't the best time to be looking for a job here in Oregon... just today they announced that the unemployment rate jumped from 6.4% in September to 7.3% in October. And apparently, there is never a good time to look for a job in Portland (especially for a non-native like me), with unemployment being historically higher here than the national average.

When I came out here, I wanted a green job, and everyone was like, "Awesome, you're in the right place for that!" Since Portland is the greenest city in the country, I figured the possibilities would be endless. Not so. It is super competitive, and while at a job fair a couple of months ago I found myself standing next to my clone. She said my exact spiel word for word. "Hi, I don't have any experience in the environmental industry, but I really care a lot about the environment and have some excellent transferable skills..." etc, etc. I was speechless. I called Justyn in a panic and said, "No wonder I haven't found a job. There are tons of people trying to get into this industry that are exactly like me." So, it was time to regroup and re-evaluate my approach.

I decided to take the Myers-Briggs personality test and attend a class, where I learned that I am a classic ISFJ. Which basically means, I could do any job as long as I'm working for a good cause. (Gee, I already knew that, sort of, but it was nice to have confirmation anyway.) Upon learning this, I thought maybe I should look into other types of organizations besides just environmental. I mean, my last job was such a life-sucking experience, that really anything to help serve people and the community would be an awesome change for me. So I joined Idealist, Hands on Portland, and CNRG to try and get connected to the non-profit world here in Portland. (For my Nashville readers, Hands on Nashville and Cool People Care are some really great organizations if you want to donate some time to the community. Sometimes all they need is a couple of hours of your time!)

Now, a couple of weeks and more than 40 volunteer hours later, I feel like a full time volunteer. And, I love it. I wish I could do this all the time. It has been such a fantastic way to get involved instead of sitting on my rump and browsing job ads, and also to learn about the non-profit community here and make friends. I never realized how many fantastic organizations there are, and how much work there is to be done. I have been so inspired, in fact, that I've decided to start posting about some of my experiences at different non-profits, and highlight those that I think deserve special notice. There are so many unsung heroes in the non-profit community that really should be known. The plus side of all of this (aside from the obvious) is that I have actually realized through this experience that I really love working with kids, especially in education and literacy. In fact, I think I'd rather do that than anything else.

So, I'll continue working for free. I'm a strong believer in karma, so hopefully it will come back around at some point, and then I can find a way to get paid for it...