Red Light District

Let me start by saying that I don't have a problem with authority.

No, really, I don't.

But I do have a problem with this:

Photo from here because I can't take pictures and drive at the same time.

It's not exactly that... but it's when the arrow is red, but the other light is green, that really bugs me. I mean, if there are no cars coming, why can't I turn? They don't do that in Nashville, folks. The people in charge there, rightly assume that if I have a license to drive, that I can see clearly if a car is coming, and can act accordingly (by either waiting, or proceeding to turn). But here in Oregon, noooo. You can't do that here. You have to wait until they say you can turn. Ugh. It truly is one of the most annoying things about this place.

About 2 weeks after we moved here, I was driving through Beaverton, and just barely made it through a yellow light. Right as I went through the intersection, I saw this bright white light flash in my rearview mirror, and realized that it took a picture of me! Luckily for me, our car was still new and had temporary tags from Tennessee. Serves them right, those sneaky bastards... But, I knew to be careful after that. They don't do that in Tennessee either. Hmph.

When I went to register the car and get our new plates, they said that we had to get our license within 30 days of moving to the state. So I picked up a manual and started studying. But then as I started talking to other people, I found out that it was one of the hardest drivers tests in the nation, and I know several people who failed it the first time. Yikes! Those of you who know me, know that I am a hardcore bookworm/studier, and so this freaked me out. So, I put it off, and I put it off... until a few weeks ago.

After being here for almost a year (!) and I am proud to say I finally took my driver's test and passed! The first time! But it was really hard. With some weird, stupid questions.

For example:

When approaching a person on horseback, if the rider's hand is raised in the air, you should:

a) Stop and pull over. This person needs help.

b) This is a greeting. Proceed normally.

c) The animal is frightened. Slow down and proceed with caution.

d) The animal is making a turn and you should yield.

I mean, what a stupid question! How many times have I ever approached a horse on a road? How about zero. Luckily someone I knew warned me about this question, (which, at the time, I thought they were kidding) so I knew the answer was C. But still! I mean, does not knowing that make me a bad driver? Of course not. The whole test is just designed to make you read their stupid 100+ page book. Parts of it were sort of entertaining, though, like the part about driving with caution in school zones, and the book says, "Remember, children are often very unpredictable." It really does say that. Ha ha! I don't know why, but it made me laugh out loud when I read that. Like they're wild animals or something.

Anyway, I do have to say that I am glad I read the book. There are a LOT more rules here regarding pedestrians and bicyclists which are good to know. I'm definitely not used to driving with so many people on the road (not in cars) so it's good that I finally learned it all. And I probably should have done it sooner than like 10 months after I moved here. But whatever. It's done, and I'm legal!

So, I am officially an Oregon resident now... my driver license was the last southern stronghold. When I got carded, people were like, "Ohhh... Tennessee, huh?" And then a story ensued, they asked me what it's like living in the South, etc. It was a nice conversation starter. But now, I'm just a regular old Oregonian. Kind of sad.

License to Fill

I can't pump my own gas anymore. Why not, you ask? Because it's against the law, that's why.

Oregon and New Jersey are the only two states in the country where you can't pump your own gas. New Jersey started this practice in 1949, and they keep it in place for two reasons: safety and jobs. Oregon, on the other hand, lists a whopping seventeen reasons for the ban. Included in these reasons are that the fumes are toxic, the risk of crime when customers leave their vehicle, as well as safety (flammability) and jobs. Apparently, Oregon citizens like the ban, because it came up on the ballot in 1982 to reverse it and allow self-service. It didn't pass. Incidentally, you CAN pump your own gas if you own a motorcycle, or if your car runs on diesel fuel. Apparently diesel isn't quite as flammable as regular gasoline, so it's okay. But considering the other 16 reasons still apply, I'm thinking things aren't making much sense anymore. I mean, you're still leaving your vehicle and breathing in the fumes...

Anyway, when we moved out here, we did not know about this law. So we were driving across I-84 and somewhere in eastern Oregon we needed gas. So we stopped, got out of the car, and proceeded to pump the gas. This guy came running out in his little orange vest, yelling, "Excuse me, Sir??? Excuse me!!!" We were like, "WTF is this guy's problem?" and looking around to see if something was on fire. It was far enough inside the Oregon border that he probably wasn't used to people not knowing the law, and he was not amused. This is serious business, apparently, and you can be fined up to $500 bucks if you get caught. And of course, now, when we go through Washington, we forget and then end up sitting our car at the pump for a while until we remember where we are.

Some people in Oregon are really upset about this law, like this guy who comments, "in Oregon, the legislators think you ought to be able to kill yourself, but not pump your own gas." (For those of you who don't know, assisted suicide is legal in Oregon.) I, on the other hand, don't really care all that much. I think it's kind of nice to have someone pump your gas for you, and you don't even have to get out of the car. I don't even have to turn my car off, actually, because it's a hybrid and the engine cuts off when it's in park anyway. It's especially nice when it's really cold out, or raining, though it hasn't been doing much of that anyway.

Only one time have I actually been frustrated at the gas station, because there were tons of cars waiting and only 2 attendants. I was in a hurry, and they were slow. But, being frustrated one time in over 9 months isn't too bad. So, I'm happy. I get a free service that I don't have to tip for, and I'd rather not be breathing in the fumes anyway. Plus, with the unemployment rate in Oregon now up to 10.8%, I think it's great that those people have jobs. So, more power to 'em. (Although I do watch them in my side mirror to make sure they pick the right fuel grade and they don't copy my credit card number.)

Strippin' Down

It was probably only the second week we lived here when we started hearing that Portland has a reputation for strip clubs. Apparently they're all the rage here in P-town (I forgot to mention that one in my nickname post.) We heard rumors of a pirate-themed strip club, a vegan strip club, even a karaoke strip club (a.k.a. stripparaoke). And, apparently the best steak in Portland is at Union Jack's. (One local resident told me this, although I highly doubt he conducted a scientific survey.)

I, personally, had never been to one before, but like they, say, "When in Rome..." so we went. Sorry, male readers. I do not have photos for you.... they really frown on that. Plus I was too busy grimacing through the $1 lap dance I got, which the "friends" we went with so graciously bought for me. I don't really have good stories to tell you about my experience. I mean, it was a strip club. There was a lot of nakedness, and a lot of cigarette smoke.

Anyway, it seems Portland's reputation is deserved. As of 2005 (the latest data I could find)Portland had more strip clubs per capita than anywhere else in the country, including Las Vegas AND San Francisco. At 7.4 strip clubs per 100,000 residents, Portland leaves Vegas and SF in the dust at only 5.8 and 2.2, respectively.

I did find out that there is, indeed a pirate-themed strip club, and a Vegan joint (whose slogan is "meat on the pole, not on the plate".) The karaoke strip club also exists, as does one specializing in sushi and a club for early risers ("we open for breakfast at 7am!")

Why on earth are there so many, you ask? I'm not really sure, but most things I've read suggest that Oregon's constitution protects strip clubs under the free speech clause, which is supposedly one of the most liberal in the country. Several attempts have been made to limit the clause, but every time it's on the ballot it gets voted down. I guess Portland likes their naked chicks.

So, if you like naked chicks, too, then come visit Portland and we'll keep you busy for a while.

Happy Birthentine's Day

Ahh... Valentine's Day. Isn't it sweet? A time to celebrate love. It's a season of flowers and chocolate, of candy and romance, of candles, bubble baths, and expensive dinners.

It's also Oregon's birthday, and this year (2009) is Oregon's 150th birthday, or sesquicentennial for those of you who like big words. I remember Tennessee's 200th birthday, which was in 1996. (Wow, Oregon is a youngster!) I don't remember a whole lot about the Tennessee bicentennial, except that they changed the license plates for a while.

I'm not really all that into history, actually. Honestly, I usually find it pretty boring (especially to read) and so if you fall asleep reading this I'm really sorry. But, how often can you write about a sesquicentennial??!!

Okay, actually, 2009 marks lots of other sesquicentennials. It is also Boulder, Colorado's 150th birthday this year, and the 150th anniversary of Charles Darwin's On the Origin of Species. Why don't you read some Darwin Awards to celebrate?? (Coincidentally, today would've been Darwin's 200th birthday, as well as Abraham Lincoln's 200th birthday.) Sidenote: Why do people say it "would've been" his 200th birthday? Like, it "would've been" if he had lived an abnormally long time? I don't understand that (even though I just did it myself.) And even though the sesquicentennial anniversary of the Civil War isn't until 2011, the University of Richmond in Virginia is so excited they're just gonna go ahead and start celebrating now. The American Dental Association is also celebrating its 150th year, as is the city of Iola, Kansas. It's also the 150th anniversary of the birth of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (I guess that's how you're supposed to say it, though it is easier to just say "he would've been 150"), and the 150th birthday of America's first zoo - The Philadelphia Zoo. There are actually a lot of others, and I could go on... but I'm kind of bored with it now so I'm sure you are too. The point is a lot of shit was going down in 1859.

During the last paragraph I decided not to write in detail about the history of Oregon's statehood (I mean, seriously, one blog is not enough to cover 150+ years of history, folks.) If you're really interested, check it out for yourself. If you're not really interested I'll give you the highlights: Thomas Jefferson (a.k.a. "TJ") took $2,500 and hired his secretary, Meriwether Lewis (back when secretaries were men) to explore the land the US got from the Louisiana Purchase. Lewis needed some help so he hired a veteran army officer, William Clark to come along and they set out in the spring of 1804. Clark was an experienced surveyor, mapmaker, frontiersman and Indian negotiator so he was well-qualified. (Man, check out those qualifications! I would like to put "mapmaker and frontiersman" on my resume.) They went back to TJ with their reports of the area and how great it was. People gradually started moving west, the Oregon Trail happened, yada yada yada, white people kicked the Native Americans out, Great Britain and the US fought over the territory, blah blah blah, and then Oregon became a state on February 14, 1859.

There are a few really interesting things about Oregon's history, though: for about 90 years (between 1861 and 1951) it was against Oregon law to marry someone of a different race. In 1844, the territory mandated that slavery was illegal, but if there were any "free" slaves lurking around, they had to leave. The largest cities in Oregon (Portland, Salem, Eugene, and Bend) are all extremely liberal, but the rural areas of Oregon are extremely conservative. I, personally, think this political strife makes Oregon a fun and interesting place to live. But some people are not so happy about it. There have been several attempts by some groups to secede from the state.

So, in honor of Oregon's 150th birthday, there are several events going on around town. You can go on a horse drawn elk viewing tour, swim 150 miles, go birding, paddling, or you can attend a spiffy soiree, which currently has 14 confirmed guests on Facebook. Some celebration! But, Seskie the Sasquatch will be there, so it is tempting to go just to meet him in person:



But the thing everyone seems most excited about is the beer. Rogue Brewery has developed a special commemorative brew to celebrate the sesquicentennial. It's a limited edition, so get it while you can. Deschutes is also brewing 2 special beers with 100% Oregon ingredients for the celebration. Hopworks Urban Brewery has also come up with a special IPA, and McMenamins is brewing a special cream ale that will only be served at Saturday's Birthday Bash at the Crystal Ballroom. With all these new beers floating around, I have a feeling there's going to be a lot of beer-drinking going on Saturday night, and not much swimming or romantic dinners.

Voting Irregularities

No matter where I look, it seems I am constantly finding things here in Oregon that are totally different than in Nashville. The latest of these irregularities is the way they vote. (Or I guess I should say, "the way we vote." I'm still working on that whole "we" thing.)

In 1998, Oregon became a vote by mail state. It's the only state in the country that conducts elections completely by mail. Do you realize what that means?

No polls. No lines. No machines. And no little sticker that says "I voted" which to me, is a major bummer.

It all started when I received a ginormous booklet in the mail titled "Voters' Pamphlet 1 of 2: Measures". I started flipping through the 150+ page book, wondering why I had received such a thing, and what I was supposed to do with it. Upon further inspection, I realized that it's just an informational tool so I can be more educated about what state measures will be on the ballot. I never received anything like this in Nashville, and now I'm asking myself, "why not?" I mean, what a fantastic idea!

Why is the book so large, you ask? Because it details each measure that will be on the ballot, showing: the estimate of financial impact for each measure, an explanation of how they arrived at said financial impact, the complete text of the measure, and an impartial statement explaining the measure (in layman's terms). It also has 5-10 pages of arguments for/against each measure so you can read both sides of the argument. Anyone who wants to shell out $500 or can get 1000 signatures gets a space in the booklet for their argument. Wowsers! I mean, folks, this is democracy at its best. And I just love it!

A few days later, I received a second booklet, similar in size, titled "Voters' Pamphlet 2 of 2: Candidates". And, yep, you guessed it: same story here. It also has a description of each party platform (which is actually quite interesting). On a funny side note, check this guy out:

I'm pretty sure I would have asked for a retake.

So, let's talk about voting by mail for a minute. My initial reaction was not a good one. I mean, I like going to the polls. There's something symbolic about it. Standing in line has never bothered me much, and there is such a feeling of community when you're surrounded by people all motivated to do their civic duty. To me, voting by mail brings up questions about voter fraud, and it seems to me that it would be easier to conduct some sort of scammy voter operation by mail. But maybe I'm wrong. I must be, otherwise why would they do it?

I'll tell you why. Lots of reasons: 1) It's cheaper. 2) Voter participation is way higher. People with no car (which there are LOTS of in Portland) and people disabilities can vote from the comfort of their own homes, and they can get help reading the ballots. 3) People are more likely to vote on the measures and candidates (other than presidential) because they have time to research them carefully and can make an informed decision. 4) It's easier for counties and polling officials to conduct the elections.

About voter turnout / participation. It appears that Oregon leads the nation in voter participation. In the 2004 general election, voter turnout was 86.4 %, the 2nd highest turnout in Oregon's history. No, that's not a typo. 86.4 percent, my friends. The average voter turnout nationwide for that election was only 55 %. The highest turnout in Oregon history was only slightly more at 86.5 %, for the 1960 election between Nixon and Kennedy. And so far for the 2008 election, ballot returns are already up over 2004 numbers, so they're expecting to set new records again this year (like every other state, I'm sure).

Those numbers are something to be seriously proud of, so I'm pretty much convinced. Especially after seeing all over the news, people waiting for more than 5 hours in places like Florida to early vote. I have a feeling Oregon is going to be one of the few states that can handle the extra turnout. I was watching CNN a few days ago and they were asking people to write in with their early voting stories of woe, when one of my fellow Oregonians said it best, "Last night, my husband and I sat down with a cup of coffee and filled our ballots together in the comfort of our own home. I will mail them tomorrow knowing that my paper ballot says exactly what I want it to say with no electronic glitches or switches. Hooray for the Oregon mail-in vote!"

So, I'm embracing it. Even though I won't get a sticker this time. Of course, I could make my own sticker. That's an idea.